The Process

I want to mimic life (and all of its contradictions)

I want to create something unexpected
I want to create something new based on that prior unexpected creation that is also unexpected

My sculpture/paintings follow cycles of life:

The sculptures are the manifestation
The physical, the birth, the challenges in life
The beauty and the aggravations,
The devastations, and the trauma
And the passing
The sculptures no longer exist
Except in a landfill somewhere

The paintings are the record
And are all that remain of the sculptures
The only documentations
The paintings are the only visual record that remains and lives on

I keep going from one idea to another idea to another
Always trying something new
This has been ever since I was a child
Art class at public schools or even private schools
Assignments were to always try something new
I do not know any other way

Maybe it’s just because
I get bored of creating the same things over and over
Or I get anxious and can’t settle into a repetitive routine
Or I have too many ideas swirling around inside my head

Maybe it’s because
I believe that each idea or phase
is an exploration
or a primer
to step up to the next unplanned thing
to evolve into something greater or more complex
than what was just developed
and each phase grows into another new idea
that didn’t exist until the prior idea gave it life and purpose

I do like the improvised
it’s how life is
I also do like the planned
it’s how to have some control over life

I do like the meticulous
it’s how to understand the intricacies of life

But I also do like the random
The inspiration that intervenes in everything

Follow a passion, a desire, and don’t be rigid
And be open to possibilities
(As how nature operates)

I think I’m onto something
And then I change direction
and create something different
And then I pause and don’t create anything
And then I think a lot about what I could be creating
and how amazing it would be
and why did I stop
and I have to remind myself that it’s my destiny to create
And then I start something new again
Or I just continue to do nothing

I always try to see creating like a growth spurt
Like momentum that builds from something unknown
And then a discovery is made
a threshold is crossed
Then it launches me onto a higher precipice
a deeper connection with the world and with the universe and with creation
that privileges me for having this new ability, this new insight
and that others will (hopefully) celebrate

I think fantastical things as an artist
it’s just how my neurons are arranged
Yet I’m a very practical person
I’m very concerned about finances, and spending within my means
I’m very concerned about having adequate health insurance, and car insurance
I’m very concerned about being able to be retired at a decent age
and then being able to live comfortably
and when the time comes when I lose my mind
I hope that I will have the financial means to still be able to live comfortably
and be well taken care of

So the practicality of honoring life’s demands contrasts starkly with the mental escape of creating
I always wanted to be that completely engaged, intense, focused artist that never waivers in his convictions as an artist
but that is very difficult to square with being practical
So I always stay within my means
and spend lots of time on the practicalities of life

I cannot escape the artistic narrative
I really do want my artistic story to unfold and to be celebrated
Just like all of the stories you read about in books, then watched on DVD, and now see online, or watch on Netflix
It’s all the same thing: humans wanting to be recognized for pursuing and excelling at a passion

So here I am, typing this out, approaching being on this planet for fifty years
I have created art since a child, and it’s part of my earliest memories
I’ve created artwork all along my many years, every year, consistently
But I’ve created vastly different things along the way
Then at thirty years of age
Is when I’m choosing to start my presentation of my artwork on this website
And here I show no record of any artwork prior
And also, I show no record of other artistic creations that I’ve made that do not fit my thesis herein

Yet currently there is no new work in development
Only lots of ideas swirling around in my head

So what from here will unfold?
That is a story yet to be told